I am the Nomad! by Bryan Mills

I am the Nomad…

I wander through life searching for new adventures & endeavors, conquering goals, experiencing this world and finding beauty in even the darkest place. I am a traveler, always in search of something new. I have no home and no family to call my own, only my thoughts and experiences to keep me company.

I am always being tested. At times I succeed and at times I am brought to my knees in failure. Struggling to get back up, it is never easy. Using the Barbell and a Journal as a means of therapy, allowing them to teach me about myself, both the good and bad.

There is a peace sign engraved on my right arm, the same arm that houses my trigger finger, a dichotomy. I am an example of the duality of man, “The Jungian Thing,” if you would; the distinction between the personal unconscious and the collective unconscious. Always searching for peace of mind, peace of heart and eventually peace with myself, struggling back and forth between what is right and what is wrong.

At times I am unsure of reality, as my personal demons and the Reaper follow me on my journey. When my guard is down, they always tend to find me. From the darkness they attempt to snatch me and pull me in as they howl and scream my name and remind me of the past. I always seem to slip away, nothing to be boastful about, for at times I have, willingly, with open arms, wanted them to take me. In the end, I always ask, “why me?”

Nonetheless, I am here, waking every morning and wrestling with Jah, only to submit myself to him when I lay back down. I am my worst enemy and I am also my best friend, how I feel about myself teetering back and forth like a pendulum.

Glance into my eyes and you might see an old man, only to step back and see a young man who has seen much in life, of pain, suffering and loss. I do not seek negativity or darkness but only to erase the wrong I have done in this world, hoping that I will be forgiven and all will be balanced, seeking a new light or a breath of fresh air, learning from my experiences, accepting humility.

I will leave nothing behind but a carbon footprint in the places I go and the people I meet. Learning to love and to be loved. One day my travels, adventures and desire to conquer will cease. When that day comes, I want to have strived to be a loving husband, a good father and even a man after Jah’s own heart. Maybe I will eventually find peace and the chains that hold me down will finally break apart, letting my soul fly.

Until that day comes… I am the Nomad wandering through life.

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